If you caught my last post you will know that we left off with me ACTUALLY having friends :) - see it's not all bad. GO ME!
Let's continue... Both of the friends that offered to let me stay with them until my apartment was ready last year just so happened to live on the west side of CLE, about 45/50 minutes away from my girls. Here's where stuff gets messy.
Fifty/Fifty split custody means I would have my girls two days during the week and every other weekend, but if I live 50 minutes away how do I get them to school? Essentially, at this point, and for the next two months I had the following schedule on my two weekdays with the girls...
Wake up on the west side, drive 25 minutes to work in downtown CLE, drive 35 minutes to pick up the girls from school, 25 minutes to cheer practice, 20 minutes back to put them to bed, and then 45 minutes back to the west side. Wake up...repeat.
To people on the outside I am sure it looked as though I had abandoned my children. Actually...I am positive of this because I was actually asked that question, or accused of it - whichever wording you prefer.
I was M.I.A....or so everyone assumed.
I wasn't there in the morning to get them ready for school - and I wasn't there to put them on the bus so naturally, I was just gone.
Those two months were some of the hardest times I have ever experienced - living out of a bag and a pile of clothes and shoes in my car, and eating takeout almost every day for every meal. But, I had my freedom, and I had Tara. (I also had an extra 15 pounds, but we won't go into all that today)
Tara and I met because both of our children were on the same competitive cheer team, and we were chosen to be team moms together. It was a good cop, bad cop dynamic (with me being the goodie goodie, most of the time). We weren't all that close, but we were friendly enough.
Tara was going through a divorce of her own, and had just moved into her apartment - get this, the weekend my marriage REALLY ended.
Here she is...moving into her apartment and consoling me on the phone at the same time. "JUST COME STAY WITH ME," she said. And I did. We could relate on so many levels, and she swooped in like a bat out of hell to make sure I had somewhere to go. We were there for each other and we got each other through what we hoped was the worst of it.
This. woman. I honestly don't know if I would have made it through the end of last year without her, and I will never be able to repay her for her kindness.
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I was told today I was making myself out to be some sort of perfect mother on this blog. I want to clarify something - while I did not abandon my children, I was not the best mom during this time, but I was the best mom that I COULD be.
Me not being there was not ideal - it was absolutely not my first choice, and I am certain you are judging me as you read this, BUT it was my only option to avoid a daily dose of verbal abuse in front of my children. And if you do not understand that, then we cannot be friends. Please, exit - you will not be missed.
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Are you interested in guest blogging on Kristian K?
Since starting this blog only three weeks ago you would not believe the number of women that have reached out to me with similar stories. Moms who are afraid to leave their marriages because they fear being judged, or fear they won't be able to support themselves, or have no where to go.
You are not alone momma. Always remember that.